20 Mar 2020

KATIE'S BLOG: The day after the day before

Another day in our new reality and i want to reassure you all that i think, for now, i've done my crying.
A really kind member of our Facebook group told me to 'get a grip' yesterday - nice lady, really lovely, wish she was my friend. Sadly she's no longer on the group!
So i just wanted to start this message by saying, every single one of us reacts differently at different times and in different ways to different situations.
Yes i know thank goodness i'm not living in a windowless cell.
Yes i know i, so far, have some food in my fridge.
Yes i know i am lucky to have children who are well and that for now my husbands job 'should' be ok (he's in the hospitality industry - so its certainly not thriving any more).
But the bottom line is that its OK to cry. And no you shouldn't feel guilty for perhaps having it a little bit better than the person who tells you to get a grip. Nobody should judge each other, nobody knows what's been going on in other peoples lives up til now.
What has happened is UNPRECEDENTED, and we are all trying to process it in our own ways.
Process the fact that our parents potentially are not safe any more.
Process the fact that our kids exams have totally, out of the blue been cancelled and they are now at home for 6 months with no clear plan as to what their future looks like.
Process the fact that our childrens and families jobs could be hanging by a thread.
Process the fact that life as we know it has, within days changed beyond recognition.
I like a plan.
I like to know where i'm going and what's coming next, so processing all of the above is not quite as simple for me as to just 'get a grip', i'll do it in my own time in my own way.
Which yesterday was through crying and today is through writing.
Many of our members will think i only set up this platform because of my peri-menopause journey, but i actually set it up as therapy for me.
I had no idea anyone would ever want to read my drivel, but i have always found writing cathartic, so i just figured even if i was just writing to myself, it was helpful, a way of organising my thoughts and clearing my head.
Some people smoke, some jog, some paint, some drink, but for me writing is my vice.
So i'm sorry if yesterday i didn't quite have 'a grip' on normally sociably exceptable ways of processing shock, but you will be glad to hear that today i do.
Today i want to accept what has happened and to start planning what i can control.
And that is my own environment.
I can't control what's going on out there, and i can't be sure of when this will all end but what i can be sure of, to some degree now, are my small daily home routines.
Getting up, showering, getting dressed, eating breakfast, doing a bit of a home work out, tidying up the house, getting on top of the 150 flagged work emails finally, coming up with innovative ideas to support the kids new reality, only watching the news once a day, helping out my parents and any friends/relatives in need, supporting my husband making difficult decisions for his business and basically living one day at a time.
And i repeat, I know i'm lucky. And if i was a trained dr or nurse, trust me i'd be out there right now on the front line with our incredible NHS helping to save lives. Sadly i'm not so i'm eternally grateful to those who are.
I'm fully aware that sadly most peoples new routines will involve how they are going to survive with no job and no money coming in, but i hope the government will step in soon to support them soon:
And so on that note, i hope to a little bit of good news, (although lets see how it pans out):
The Chancellor later today is likely to announce a salary support scheme to directly cover a percentage of companies payroll to avoid businesses having to lay people off.
Lets hope that applies to all those currently in this situation now.
I never understood before why 'mindfulness' - living in the moment, was so helpful to some people - now i do.
For now, take care, stay well, support each other and if you need any help at all please ask the other 17,000 members on our Facebook group, all who i would be proud to have as my friends!
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